1. Picard can speak intelligently with his officers about anything on the Enterprise
2. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks it out with him. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats.
3. Kirk wouldn't wear a kilt as easily or as naturally because people would have laughed at his legs.
4. Picard’s Enterprise was destroyed by a time/space anomaly to save humanity. End of story.
5. Picard outsmarted Moriarty.
6. When Picard was in the Academy he survived getting stabbed in the heart..
7. Picard would rather sing to children to comfort them than kill them.
8. Picard is into swashbuckling. And he looks better than Kirk doing it!
9. Picard is awesome.
10. Picard admits he's made mistakes. It takes a real man to admit their errors.
11. Picard is a man of reason, who is not afraid to show his strength when necessary, but only when necessary.
12. When Picard blew up the Borg, it didn't blow up the Enterprise.
13. Kirk was a pretty okay first draft. Picard is the refined, edited version.
14. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women. And then proceeds to make a hypocrite of himself by snogging every single pretty girl he comes into contact with.
15. Picard chats with a crew member on a regular basis.
16. Kirk worries about his own vanity. Well, so does Picard... A little...
17. Kirk didn't have the brains to read AND appreciate a book as well as Picard does..
18. Kirk very likely has a violently deadly disease in connection to his Y Chromosome, and doesn't let it slow him down in getting more.
19. When it’s time for shore leave, Picard is awesome enough to get muddy, drunk, and messy with his older brother.... on camera!
20. Picard’s name is known and respected throughout Klingon space.
21. The only Klingon serving on Kirk’s bridge would probably kill him.
22. Two words: Line delivery.
23. Kirk would never forgive an acting ensign for locking out his command codes.
24. Picard quotes Shakespeare for fun. Kirk quotes Shakespeare out of luck.
25. Picard had the sense to get rid of the ugly doctor and get Beverly back.
2. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks it out with him. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats.
3. Kirk wouldn't wear a kilt as easily or as naturally because people would have laughed at his legs.
4. Picard’s Enterprise was destroyed by a time/space anomaly to save humanity. End of story.
5. Picard outsmarted Moriarty.
6. When Picard was in the Academy he survived getting stabbed in the heart..
7. Picard would rather sing to children to comfort them than kill them.
8. Picard is into swashbuckling. And he looks better than Kirk doing it!
9. Picard is awesome.
10. Picard admits he's made mistakes. It takes a real man to admit their errors.
11. Picard is a man of reason, who is not afraid to show his strength when necessary, but only when necessary.
12. When Picard blew up the Borg, it didn't blow up the Enterprise.
13. Kirk was a pretty okay first draft. Picard is the refined, edited version.
14. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women. And then proceeds to make a hypocrite of himself by snogging every single pretty girl he comes into contact with.
15. Picard chats with a crew member on a regular basis.
16. Kirk worries about his own vanity. Well, so does Picard... A little...
17. Kirk didn't have the brains to read AND appreciate a book as well as Picard does..
18. Kirk very likely has a violently deadly disease in connection to his Y Chromosome, and doesn't let it slow him down in getting more.
19. When it’s time for shore leave, Picard is awesome enough to get muddy, drunk, and messy with his older brother.... on camera!
20. Picard’s name is known and respected throughout Klingon space.
21. The only Klingon serving on Kirk’s bridge would probably kill him.
22. Two words: Line delivery.
23. Kirk would never forgive an acting ensign for locking out his command codes.
24. Picard quotes Shakespeare for fun. Kirk quotes Shakespeare out of luck.
25. Picard had the sense to get rid of the ugly doctor and get Beverly back.
26. Picard once complimented the daughter of his captor.
27. Kirk defies superior alien beings on an almost daily basis. But never a nation, in his' head.
28. Q would have killed Kirk mistaking him for his twin brother.
29. Kirk is on a first name basis with every single admiral in Starfleet. Picard ARRESTED an admiral from Starfleet.
30. Picard doesn't need to wear a wig to feel like a man.
31. When Sarek with Bendii Syndrome mind melded with Picard, Picard could stand it and recover quickly enough with a moment with his best girl. If it had been Kirk, he would have taken all night and into the day, because HIS' Doc has a Y chromosome and his' soulmate's DEAD!!!
32. Picard can be in two places at once!
33. Picard’s engineer wears implants that help him to see better than most humans. Kirk’s engineer wears a kilt and drinks a cognitive depressant on a regular basis. Who cares if Scotty has a super accent? Geordi's a Geek!!!!!
34. If Geordie has a headache it’s because he's been working too hard. If Kirk’s engineer has a headache it’s because he took his depressant to the point of illness last night.
35. Kirk looks cool in sideburns. Picard's classy dome beats out George Foreman's.
36. Picard drinks the real stuff. All Kirk can get is Brandy.
37. Picard arrests Federation bureaucrats that he doesn’t like.
38. Picard once became a super guy with implants. And then beat him.
39. Picard can beat a collective in control of himself.
40. Kirk’s love affairs have given him so many health issues, it's a wonder he still has them.
41. Kirk’s dress uniform looks UUUGLY.
42. Kirk looks good in a ripped shirt. But Picard is more appealing with it. That speaks volumes about his' character, if you know what he looks like unclothed.
43. Picard has tossed away beautiful women because they were airheads.
44. If Deanna read Kirk's thoughts, she would find he never had an original thought.
45. When Klingons invaded Picard’s Enterprise he carefully neutralized them, and prevented danger to his crew.
46. Kirk has fought evil duplicates of himself, but never multiples inside his' brain.
47. Kirk’s greatest nemesis was alcohol and females. Picard’s greatest nemesis was himself. And he beat himself. Really good.
48. Kirk has punched out at least one member of over three thousand known alien races. Picard knows how to make friends of them, and also how to blow them out of the water. Without touching them.
49. Picard doesn't believe himself to be omniperfect.
50. Kirk probably has an illegitimate child somewhere on every planet he's visited. Picard doesn't feel the need to knock up every gal capable of doing that sort of thing he sees.
51. Girls swoon for "Make it so," and "Engage." Boys just get this weird look in their eyes with the "Beam me up," line.
52. Picard’s first officer has a name that means "Powerful Leader," and has an awesome nickname. What does Spock have that Data doesn't, aside from looks? Data and Riker managed to get their girl, and Spock (unfortunately) didn't get that!
53. Picard sounds like a wizard.
54. Kirk is rude.
55. Kirk could never have handled a first officer like Riker. Riker would have grown impatient with his halting, gasping sentences and thrown him out the cargo bay.
56. Kirk would never have allowed an episode involving a dream sequence in which Deanna and Worf become lovers. It would have taken away too attention from him.
57. Picard's ships logs contain more syllables per word than Kirk's.
58. The women on Picard’s ship are allowed to preserve their dignity, if they so desire. On Kirk’s ship, Shorter skirts are mandatory. He doesn't know the meaning of the word dignity.
59. Kirk’s middle name is Tiberius, which is the name of a Roman tyrant. Picard has a middle name that means light, and has also been had phonetically by a writer of one of the four Gospels.
60. Picard can spell not only Luc properly, but also Tiberius.
61. Picard is taller than Kirk.
62. Kirk’s medical officer can do almost anything. Doctor Crusher could beat that, AND helped a BORG develop a sense of identity, against her Captain's wishes.
63. Kirk lost his' best girl, because if he hadn't, a quantum anomaly would have eaten him and the solar system. Picard crossed wits with an almost divine being, and HAD A LEARNING EXPERIENCE WHILE SAVING THE HUMAN WORLD, and probably the milky way, too.
64. Picard has lasted more seasons as the Captain of the Enterprise for a reason. He's more classy and beautiful.
65. Picard once wore formal Klingon robes for a Klingon ceremony. If Kirk ever wore Klingon robes it would be because he stole them off a dead Klingon. Kirk is less accepting.
66. Wesley Crusher would have been running the Enterprise had Kirk been his captain, and Kirk would never have known.
67. Kirk wouldn't have put up patiently with Wesley Crusher, and he CERTAINLY wouldn't have promoted him to ensign just because he deserved it.
68. Picard can stand among hundreds of Klingons and argue with them.
69. Kirk is scared by tribbles.
70. Beverly Crusher would have TOTALLY zapped Kirk had he made a move on her.
71. The emotional content level of Kirk’s speeches is an average of 0 times higher than the level of Picard’s speeches. If he’s talking about revolution, exploration or diversity, it is still 0 times higher.
72. When Picard has an alien delegation on board he invites them to a quiet dinner, and their favourite music. When Kirk has an alien delegation on board he gets plowed on Romulan Ale, and probably hits on their females as well.
73. Kirk is familiar with 60's slang. Picard is familiar with 17nth century slang.
74. Kirk is vane for dates, not diplomacy.
75. Picard can care and think and understand.
76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent. Kirk only wishes he had an accent and voice that rockin'.
77.Picard is vane for diplomacy, not dates.
78. Kirk eats multicolored nutrition squares because he’s too busy fighting stuff to eat decently. Picard is cool enough to make sure his people get 200%.
79. Kirk destroyed 672 uniform tunics during the Enterprise’s first five year mission.
80. 347 of those tunics were destroyed during combat with Klingons. The rest were destroyed by various women. Thankfully, Picard is sensual enough not to destroy his clothes before he gets into the interesting part of his definitely better relationship.
81.When Kirk fought the Borg he just blew up their planet. When Picard fought the Borg he got assimilated, and STILL managed to beat them!
52. Picard’s first officer has a name that means "Powerful Leader," and has an awesome nickname. What does Spock have that Data doesn't, aside from looks? Data and Riker managed to get their girl, and Spock (unfortunately) didn't get that!
53. Picard sounds like a wizard.
54. Kirk is rude.
55. Kirk could never have handled a first officer like Riker. Riker would have grown impatient with his halting, gasping sentences and thrown him out the cargo bay.
56. Kirk would never have allowed an episode involving a dream sequence in which Deanna and Worf become lovers. It would have taken away too attention from him.
57. Picard's ships logs contain more syllables per word than Kirk's.
58. The women on Picard’s ship are allowed to preserve their dignity, if they so desire. On Kirk’s ship, Shorter skirts are mandatory. He doesn't know the meaning of the word dignity.
59. Kirk’s middle name is Tiberius, which is the name of a Roman tyrant. Picard has a middle name that means light, and has also been had phonetically by a writer of one of the four Gospels.
60. Picard can spell not only Luc properly, but also Tiberius.
61. Picard is taller than Kirk.
62. Kirk’s medical officer can do almost anything. Doctor Crusher could beat that, AND helped a BORG develop a sense of identity, against her Captain's wishes.
63. Kirk lost his' best girl, because if he hadn't, a quantum anomaly would have eaten him and the solar system. Picard crossed wits with an almost divine being, and HAD A LEARNING EXPERIENCE WHILE SAVING THE HUMAN WORLD, and probably the milky way, too.
64. Picard has lasted more seasons as the Captain of the Enterprise for a reason. He's more classy and beautiful.
65. Picard once wore formal Klingon robes for a Klingon ceremony. If Kirk ever wore Klingon robes it would be because he stole them off a dead Klingon. Kirk is less accepting.
66. Wesley Crusher would have been running the Enterprise had Kirk been his captain, and Kirk would never have known.
67. Kirk wouldn't have put up patiently with Wesley Crusher, and he CERTAINLY wouldn't have promoted him to ensign just because he deserved it.
68. Picard can stand among hundreds of Klingons and argue with them.
69. Kirk is scared by tribbles.
70. Beverly Crusher would have TOTALLY zapped Kirk had he made a move on her.
71. The emotional content level of Kirk’s speeches is an average of 0 times higher than the level of Picard’s speeches. If he’s talking about revolution, exploration or diversity, it is still 0 times higher.
72. When Picard has an alien delegation on board he invites them to a quiet dinner, and their favourite music. When Kirk has an alien delegation on board he gets plowed on Romulan Ale, and probably hits on their females as well.
73. Kirk is familiar with 60's slang. Picard is familiar with 17nth century slang.
74. Kirk is vane for dates, not diplomacy.
75. Picard can care and think and understand.
76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent. Kirk only wishes he had an accent and voice that rockin'.
77.Picard is vane for diplomacy, not dates.
78. Kirk eats multicolored nutrition squares because he’s too busy fighting stuff to eat decently. Picard is cool enough to make sure his people get 200%.
79. Kirk destroyed 672 uniform tunics during the Enterprise’s first five year mission.
80. 347 of those tunics were destroyed during combat with Klingons. The rest were destroyed by various women. Thankfully, Picard is sensual enough not to destroy his clothes before he gets into the interesting part of his definitely better relationship.
81.When Kirk fought the Borg he just blew up their planet. When Picard fought the Borg he got assimilated, and STILL managed to beat them!
82. When Kirk was sent to the prison camp on Rura Penthe, he was in for days. Why didn't anyone rescue him?
83. When Abraham Lincoln appeared floating in space in front of the Enterprise, Kirk didn’t even blink. Picard would have been more concerned for his crew.
84. Picard can speak in several languages-- and he knows more than just the swear words for each one.
85. When Kirk used a cloaking device, he stole it and used it to escape to Federation space. When Picard did that, he arrested an admiral.
86. Professor X. He isn't an egotist, and he is a leader. A good one, at that.
87. A holodeck would have been a waste to Kirk.
88. Picard can pilot the Enterprise though a mine field.
89. Kirk once taught an emotionless female android how to love. Then he broke up with her, the heel.
90. Kirk’s evil twin womanized and swilled brandy, which is what he usually does anyway.
91. Picard once defended an emotionless male android IN COURT. And won.
92. Kirk never dressed in green tights and pretended to be Robin Hood, and if he had, someone would have paid for it. Picard wore his with style, and was only as impatient with Q as usual, in all likely hood.
93. Do women swoon when they hear "Beam me up, Scotty?" No? How about "Make it so?" See the difference?
94. Picard can walk the walk.
95. Picard can talk the talk.
96. Kirk can do neither without seeming like an ape.
97. Picard has a multi-ethnic ship.
98. Picard stayed on the Enterprise.
99. Kirk has not exactly aged well, and is a horrendous singer. Picard has aged beautifully.
100. Picard can actually speak to an android of high intelligence and be moderately understood.
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