Myself, my Life, and Autism

So, my first contact with the terms of Asperger's and Autism came when I was 12/13, when I was browsing the internet. However, my first contact with another Aspie/Autie came with my first contact with, eh, "Huan." We met due to a shared Judeo-Christian background. Ironically, our names had something in common with our background.. You can probably figure out his real name with the info I've given....


But, anyhow, from a young age (as in, my dad got it when it was new and I was two) I obsessed with Wolfenstein 3D. This affected my gender schema. I decided that boys had the somewhat more angular facial features, the (mostly) flatter bodies, and the affinity for bugs and some bullying. In my personal experience, girls generally tended to be sissies who were hard to get, and didn't always think the way they should.


My MORAL schema was basically as interesting, and more, in a specific way. You see, I had decided that since my dad was playing it, I needed to figure out why. I grew up hearing, "Thou shalt not kill," you know. So, why would it be alright to obsess and or play Wolfenstein? Defending others? Hmm. While I realised that it mayn't be the best idea, I continued to obsess, and it became a big part of my morality.


Also, the honesty... Yeah, I dare say I'm extraordinarily honest. I'll put together the words to show the situation in a balanced way, generally while responding to it, and when an explanation is called for, I tell 'em what I planned on telling 'em.


LOVE! Now, love is my reason for fighting. My love is intense. It is like pure energy. Seriously, when I take it unto myself to know a person, I want to protect them. It's the most deep and instinctual urge of mine; the greatest (or a very close second) special interest I've had.


Educationally, I have:
Obsessed with reading.
Roared at bullies.
Obsessed with reading.
Defended my best friend.
Obsessed with reading.
Reasoned with Teachers.
Received awards.
Made perfect scores on Spelling, Social Studies and Science.
Quit an English book before I was halfway through with it and made 86 on my test.
After my mom became unable to home school me, took a placement test that said I applied maths better than I understood it, and was freshman college level in reading comp. This was when I was fifteen. Became a GED graduate at sixteen. Gave up controlling my brain and its' talents September 18 of that year. Had my mental capacities begin a somewhat controlled descent. Became mood swingy at eighteen, when starting College. Indulged in that habit of talking to myself at the wrong time, and gotten mistaken for a psychotic person.
Received an ADHD diagnosis, and wound up hearing I might have Asperger's because of the aforementioned talking-to-self.
Had a probable manic episode on finals.
Had a 3.5 GPA.
Developed a taste for writing essays/papers (totally loved 'em) and eccentric Professors (I wish I could've picked their brains...).
Exercised,and memorized the university's layout.
Had a 3.75 GPA
Checked out the DSM from the university next door's library.
Read the entries on MR, ADHD, ASDs, Schizophrenia, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar 1 and 2, and Cyclothemia.
Mostly remembered the third bit.
Had horrible timing issues with home work.
Totally shamed myself in PSYC.
Had a 3.0 GPA.


My social life:
In my earliest days, was a friend of Huan's.
In my elementary years, started deciding to be picky with people.
Followed J. around as a younger preteen.
Did somewhat similarly as an older preteen/younger teen with Sis. P.
Made the decision to obsess w/ the youngest members of L. and KL.'s household.
After discovering D.s engagement, it spilled over to KS.
Rediscovered Sis. P., and got her as a sister.
Destroyed myself in September '07 after making the horrible choice to let my mind mess over my relationship with the last four, but mostly L.
Gained a Dangerous pack July '08.
Sometime around starting college met my second ASD type person, KEI.
Told him about L., discovered his' Asperger's, and heard him say what he did about his diagnosis in conjunction with his' apparent emotional status.
Got a little more depressed when the doctor said he thought I had Asperger's. Ironically, soon started hoping that he'd actually put it on my records soon after.
Started really learning about Autism.
July 21, '09, lost access to L. because I told my pastor about the issue.
January '10. Miss L. like the dickens.


Miscellaneous bits of life:


Got it really good on a reading test my teacher gave me in first grade.
Baptized, w/ accompanying salvation when I was 7.
Started daydreaming seriously. Started pacing seriously.
Started seeing religious parallels after I got the Narnia series.
Got introduced to LOTR and Redwall, the latter by Sis. P.
Discovered Sherlock Holmes, a crush was coming on.
@ age 14, moved. You have to be aware, my state was part of my identity.
Started obsessing w/aforementioned family.
Had a stay w/ my rents in my second home, the hospital. That was forty days.
Because of said stay, wound up graduating at sixteen.
Also wound up obsessing with Animé and Manga because of it, and started stimming with upper limbs.
Wound up making my own life crash because of bad choices.
Destroyed my self control because of it.
Lost myself.
Discovered Dangerverse.
Got a Pack.
started work on a story, at about the same time as I started college.
Started exploring Neurodiversity.
Wound up obsessing w/ Wind and Einstein. Aw-Mein!
Got called to finish it and do more of it's kind last youth revival.
Started counting the days I'd been separated from L.