Unity and Empathy

"if the advocacy of self advocates is going to ignore those persons with disabilities that do not allow for self-advocacy or independent living..." It is not.

What Rob Rummel-Hudson has said in the above is not the case. Self advocates DO care for those not as well off. However, I daresay it's hypocritical to say a person like Zoe's privileged when he is a lot more privileged than her. And maybe Zoe is privileged compared to Rob's little girl who doesn't speak or blog. But... WE do not know what measure of difficulty ZOE faces  from day today. And Rob is Neurotypical, presumably. This is like a person who lives in a nice, solid house un-favourably comparing a person who lives in a tent or trailer .. in Oklahoma .. to a person who sleeps in the gutter, all the while speaking the language of privilege. This is like a caucasian making a similar comparison of a light-skinned non caucasian person to a darker skinned non caucasian person. Saying that one is privileged compared to the other. Hello? You still drive the working vehicle to your paying job! There is a veil throughout society separating people biased against other people, especially in the realm of disabilities.

WE NEED UNITY! WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE NEEDS TO BE NO VEIL! THE MOST IMPORTANT OF VEILS HAS ALREADY BEEN WRENCHED IN TWO!

Disabled advocates understand about more disabled folks who can't self advocate. Parents of disabled kids know that disabled adults have things worth hearing. The only thing that should bar us from listening to another... are, well, things that are intended to be nought but upsetting. John Best Jr. level of upsetting, indeed. We all have this habit of assuming what the other person intended to say. That is one of the roots of the communication divide. ASK about their intent before schoolin' 'em. They may not've intended it quite that way. Make sure you assume the best before you assume the worst. Remember, everyone's different. It is VERY RARE to know what a person actually intended, and actually thought as they speak. Suffice it to say, you need to be almost exactly like a person, and have an incredible degree of empathy. So we need to ask. Don't presume to know the mental state behind the response.

WE NEED TO LISTEN TO EACH OTHER. Forgiveness and empathy are key. If you're nice to a person, they usually feel horribly guilty for not giving you what you need. Everyone is unique. Even the almost-mind reading closeness that's existed between me and my friends isn't perfect. Ask about the intents. Try to assume the best. I know how hard and wrenching betrayal feels, and how easy it is to jump to the wrong conclusion. But the optimist in a person doesn't necessarily stay dead forever.

We need empathy. As long as we can agree that the worst of us-- the murderers, the torturers, those that agree with them, and those who make bad futures with their words-- are doing bad things, we should try to understand each other. Maybe Neurotypicals do need to learn how to better take perspective. The thing is to not let these bad moments wreck whatever tiny, fragile, baby-like relationship we have, and also to not jerk our knees so quickly or strongly whenever we're offended. Offence breeds nought but more offence.